Nancy Seubert
Nancy Seubert has taught memoir-writing classes and facilitated memoir-writing workshops for nearly 30 years.
In 2005, she published a book of stories by writers in her Life Stories class.
The foreword to the 432-page volume, “The Teacher Who Ate Her Pet and Other True Stories by 32 People Like You,” was written by Jennifer Granholm, then governor of Michigan.
The founding editor of Fourth Genre: Explorations in Nonfiction, Michael Steinberg, said of the book:
The life stories in this anthology are testimonies to the resilience of the human spirit. The ages, backgrounds, origins, and sensibilities of these 32 adult writers represent the full spectrum of human experience – from childhood memories to ruminations on life’s final moments. These are, each and every one, stories of the hopes and struggles, dreams and sacrifices that link us all as fellow human beings.
Nancy teaches memoir writing online and through the East Lansing MI Prime Time program.
I created this nine-part video series for people just starting to write their memoirs,
for people who’ve gotten bogged down in their memoirs,
and for people who want to recharge their memoirs with new ideas and approaches.
Learn a simple, practical way to begin.
Expand your story as you find your footing.
Consider the broad impact of writing down your stories.
Have fun while doing something important.
Video 1: Welcome and Introduction
Video 2: What Is a Memoir?
Video 3: Benefits of Writing a Memoir
Video 4: Writing a Memoir: Getting Started
Video 5: Take the First Step: Pinpoint Your Stepping Stones
Video 6: Take the Next Step: A Story Collage
Video 7: After Finishing Your Story Collage: Options
Video 8: The Character Arc
Video 9: Taking the Next Step . . . and Three Insider Tips
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62 responses to “Your Life, Your Words: Begin a Memoir Today”
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I am a regular person, not perfect, not a polished writer but I’m writing now thanks to you, Nancy! I am becoming conscious of many forgotten memories and have an idea book for pop-up memories like the ones you mentioned in the last video. Another great tip in your informative videos!
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Thanks, Sharon! I’m glad you’re finding the videos helpful.
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Today I watched videos 1-3. Your father’s cow story, which you found out about when you interviewed him late in life, is a great example of why memoirs are so valuable. The scene you described of the cows coming over to pay tribute at your father’s death was very moving. The 3rd video, outlining the benefits of writing a memoir, was really good and I plan to rewatch it. More later. Thank you.
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Thanks, Bridget. Good to hear!
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Nancy, the video series is excellent. You played it down for not being “produced by…”. I don’t think they are a rough first draft at all. For having heard all your spiels before in my many moons with you, I was very engaged through E7 LOL, started to drift a bit with autobiographies. But given my sleepiness today, you’re a winner. Of course PICTURES grab people’s attention too. Good addition. A bit of personal storytelling doesn’t hurt either. Your dad’s story of the cows was a peak example of the trajectory of a life changing event. I believe the video series is a great idea to share all the wonderful ways you know to start a memoir. To expand our frontiers, you draw from the legion of books on writing, using quotes and passages and encouraging us to use them as source books too.. These authors teach us all how to be better writers. How to approach writing. How to think about memoir. And how to laugh and not take ourselves too seriously. Thank you for being our teacher and pathfinder.
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Thank you, Linda. One of the essential tools of writing is simply paying attention. You do this so well.
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Nancy, your insight into the writing of memoirs and tips will be greatly appreciated by all the struggling writers who hope to leave the story of their life for their loved ones. The importance of leaving “just a piece” is a reminder that we are the only ones who really can write our stories. Each page we write reveals our emotions, our personalities, our good, and yes, even our bad and how we found ways to overcome. Thank you for taking the time to encourage those who feel the need to write but are uncertain how to go about started.
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Thanks, Vicky. And in a writing group or class, writers can learn from each other.
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I’ve watched the videos in two different settings. Today I watched from 5-9. I think you have done a wonderful job in short videos to tell the story of how a person might write a memoir. There were many sections where you provided lists, or examples, or asked a series of questions that would really help someone starting to write a memoir.
I found the videos really helpful to me at this moment with many stories now in my story collage. It was helpful to hear what I might do with them when I’m done. It was very helpful to get Anna Quinlan’s advice through you: just do it; it’s valuable; it doesn’t have to be perfect. I’m going to post these on the wall my office!
Thanks Nancy for letting us view these. I found them very valuable and will keep them to go back to from time to time.
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Yes! It doesn’t have to be perfect!
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I liked that you started this video with the picture of you and your sister. What a great way to show the passage of time! The many details you used of what you might write about were helpful. I thought it was helpful to tell your audience where the least productive place to start was. It helps to be reminded about how important emotion is to finding a good story!
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Thanks, Mary. Yes, I have seen many writers stuck in the details of their earliest memories. You can always pull in early childhood material later but beginning memoir in a place where you feel drawn emotionally is quickly productive. But, as I mention in the video, sometimes early childhood is the place where a writer simply must begin. She or he will know this. For instance, a traumatic event in early childhood often demands to be heard first.
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I have just watched 1-4 so far, and I think you’re doing a great job of introducing the subject of memoir writing to a broader population. I found video 2 particularly strong, because you tackle the challenging question of autobiography vs. memoir quite effectively while sharing excellent examples of memoir material from your own life story. I love the picture of you interviewing your father, his very moving story about the dead cows at his uncle’s farm, and then the picture of cows gathering on the day your father died. The images and details make this the strongest of the videos I’ve viewed so far.
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Thanks, Sarah. The personal dimension of memoir makes the story more emotionally accessible to me than autobiography does. Both forms have their place but I definitely prefer memoir.
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This video did a great job of describing all the ways that writing a memoir might be helpful. When I started watching the videos I thought well I’m doing this because it will help Nancy, but in reality it is really helping me. As you went through the list I thought of the many characteristics that apply to my own writing. The joy of remembering tops my list.
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Thanks, Mary. It all begins with paying attention.
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“Leave a little piece of something” Anna Quindlen. I have been fortunate to have “that little piece of something” in family letters from parents and grandparents. I treasure them for the voice within them and mourn it as a lost art. You begin and end the video series with a much-needed encouraging tone. Also, I am inspired to read more published memoirs. Thanks for that gentle nudge.
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And it doesn’t have to be perfect!
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You mentioned two things in this video that spoke to me. One was pairing photos. I have had such fun searching for photos to accompany my stories. In fact, there have been occasions when the photo was the inspiration for the whole story. The other is the table of contents. This is the only place where chronological seems the best order (over thematic). I don’t want to write my memoirs in chronological order, only order the collage of stories as such. In doing so, the last story will take on a sense of closure.
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I’m surprised the thespian didn’t pick up on making a video recording, which could include an excerpt of a song paired with a memory!
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Since this was the second time I listened to your video, I applied a story to the questions that you raised to see how closely it fit. The story was about how terrified I was to get my polio shot in 1953. I was pleased to discover that it fit well within the questions raised. Also, when I am in the creative zone, I do immerse myself in the time like a time traveler. Yes, it is invigorating to come up with an early draft of your story, like birthing a baby, some would say. I especially liked your instruction on putting your story away after you write it. To me, it is essential to the writing process. It amazes me to see what improvements I make when I look at a story with “fresh eyes.”
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You are a model of the writing process!
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What else can I write about? Perhaps I need to get a copy of the Progoff book. Some ideas came to me as you were explaining the Progoff model. I’m sure this would be a helpful resource.
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Deborah, I know you’ve read Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird,” a perennial recommendation of mine. Also Mary Karr’s “The Liar’s Club.”
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Getting started has never seemed to be a problem for me. It seems the back of my mind is always on “story search.” As you advised, I am drawn to events of “emotional import,” especially “coming of age” stories. A guiding question for me has been: “What sets my generation (the baby boomers) apart from other generations?” How did I “bump up against the current events of the time?” Since I have written memoir stories for many years, perhaps the more relevant question for me is: “Will I run out of stories?”
An added thought: I liked having you refer to writers as the “connective tissue” to their life events.-
I love that! The back of your mind is always on “story search.” (Quick! Get the notebook.)
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The invitation continues with 11 reasons why to write a memoir. “I hope one or two of them (maybe all of them) are enough to inspire you to continue learning and writing.” If asked why I was writing my memoirs, I would always respond with: #1 a family legacy and # 7 producing a document. Privately, I would also think about the joy of remembering and the freedom of expressing memories from my perspective. I might even brag to my doctor during wellness visits how I was “sharpening my memory” through writing. Reasons I have never thought about, however, are gratitude, empathy from others, integrative action and wisdom of experience. all benefits for my own personal growth. During Covid isolation, I wrote about the difficulties and fear I was experiencing, and I did, in fact, experience mental and emotional healing (as, I suspect, so many others who shared similar stories.) I would like to learn more about #11 change your story. You admitted that it’s “hard to explain.” All told, I now have a more in-depth response for why I write memoir. Thank you.
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One writer thought of another benefit to memoir that I didn’t mention: “new insights from past experiences.” In a sense, that’s part of #11 “change your story.” Through writing memoir, we stumble into new insights that change our stories. A victim story can become a survivor story. A story of betrayal can become a story of individuation or coming into one’s own. A story of disillusionment can become a story of enlightenment. A story of isolation can become a story of belonging. A story of dogma can become a story of seeking or pilgrimage.
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I appreciated the clearly explained differences between autobiography and memoir. I can now articulate why memoir writing appeals to me: one of many personal stories told by the main character that describes events that are (in some way) transformational. There is such freedom in not trying to be objective and impartial! It is my story, from my perspective. Implicit within your discussion also is an invitation for ordinary people (like myself) to engage in memoir writing.
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Yes, ordinary people are fascinating. It goes back to river water under a microscope. So much life is there.
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Nancy, you are a role model for all teachers: personable presence, authentic voice and tone, credentialed, clear, encouraging, organized, identifiable… You also projected yourself in the video as a “real time” presence, as I listened to the videos, I found myself responding to you as though you were in the room. (I.E. nodding my head in agreement.)
Resonating with me in video one was what you said about memoir writing being a natural urge to want to reflect on your life. I also liked the comparison of river water under the microscope…”it takes magnification to make it visible.” Very fitting,-
Thanks, Deborah. I think a person can begin a memoir without intending reflection but at some point we are invited to come to terms with the reality that life is more than a sequence events.
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Writing memoir is helping me to make sense of the life that I have lived for these 71 years. For example, I had often wondered how my mother did it. From where did her inspiration come? Mom wasn’t one to talk about such things and, since she is dead, I can’t ask her. Writing about her was a way to discover some answers about her source of strength and it was a window into my own life because she was such a strong influence for me.
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You speak for me and many others, Connie. Memoir leads to others and then back to ourselves.
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Thank you, Nancy, for this series of short videos–helpful and challenging both. I’ve learned so much and am still doing so.
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Wow, I have had a lot of surprising insights from writing these short memoirs we have written for your classes. 1) My own mother was not happy to have had me so soon in her marriage and was an inattentive young mother. 2) How does a 3yo get bothered by an Evangelical Bible study group that teaches, “The only way to Heaven is through believing in Jesus?” It really bothered me that all those folks who had lived before Him or who had never heard of Him wouldn’t go to Heaven. 3) I was not a very good big sister to the brother 3 years younger than I was.
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Sharon, your brilliant mind was awake to insights when you were a toddler. It’s impressive — and fun — to hear about them in your memoir.
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All I have heard sounds helpful to me.
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Thanks, Dee.
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Reflecting on our internal experiences and the emotions we encounter is sound guidance for writing memoirs.
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Don’t think about it, just do it! That’s what I do, and I think it’s great advice for newcomers. And I do write down subjects as they come to me, also great advice. With that, right now I’m going to write a story!
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Go for it!
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I’m going through a transition now, I think. And I intend to write it in a memoir when I’m finished with your presentation. I have not thought of my stories as having a transition section, perhaps there has been, but I don’t see it. But I can see it coming now, perhaps I can identify it in the story I am about to write. I need to realize I am suffering consequences, and cannot revert to my old ways. This module is very precise, a helpful diagram, and easy to understand.
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Transitions are a memoirists friend. I’m glad you’re tuning in to yours.
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No story collage for me! I just spit it out, whatever it is that is in my head at the moment. I can’t set aside a story, think about another one, go back to the first. I think I’m different. Having written 70 stories already, some in the middle of the night, to try to “craft” a story or make a collage is so foreign to me. For a person who might write like me, just let it flow, whatever the memory is, good or bad, sit down and write it. Pick something emotional, good way to start I think.
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You make a good point, Sharon. Story collages are not helpful for everyone!
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Video 5: Structure – this is good advice for newbies, I’d say. However, I have NO structure. I write in the middle of the night or whenever a memory strikes me. I cannot, for instance, remember starting school and I cannot relate to making a table of contents, etc. Good advice I think though for brand new writers, an option of where to start, what to think about.
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Sharon, I believe you have an internal structure that is so clear you take it for granted. It’s like the young fish who swims up to the older fish and says, “I’ve been hearing about water? What is it?” Structure can be helpful to new writers and it’s also critical for experienced memoirists who want to help their readers walk more sure-footedly into their stories. Without structure readers might feel like they are walking into a mine field. What’s going to blow up next? That said, there are all kinds of structures. Some, like yours, are internal.
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Video 4: Best place to start is something with emotion. Excellent advice I think. Not to start with “I was born…” Boring. Something has happened today that actually I can’t WAIT to write about, I’m so sad, so angry. Sometimes it will hit you in the middle of the night, something you think of you need to write down. Like I’m feeling right now. I liked this video – short, to the point.
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Emotion expressed with honesty and vulnerability should help your readers to understand your experience and care what happens to you.
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I’ve been struggling with the miasma of many stories (begun or done) that have no logical place right now. In terms of an organized approach for my next of kin to enjoy later on. I think the stepping stones suggestion will provide a system of fifteen separate folders to sort my current efforts into as well as then readily adding a spot where more memoirs can then be added to the proper categories. And I am grateful for this tool you have suggested.
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I’m glad your Stepping Stones will help as you organize, Sharon.
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Great photos! Getting started for me was as simple as the first long ago class. “Grist for the Mill” is a useful tool that you handed out. This will be a great resource for anyone looking to get started just like I was!
Look for the places of emotional importance. Very key.-
Thanks for the reminder about “Grist for the Mill,” Sharon.
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I love the simple definition offered of carving out a story of personal meaning to share. And especially the example offered of the upstate farm, the sad demise of all those cows, and then their return in spirit to munch on the grass surrounding your father’s home when he passed. A very moving moment to have experienced.
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Thanks, Sharon. Those cows were really quite a surprise. (Not the cow pies they left behind though!)
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Not beginning but instead I am firmly entrenched in self-discovery and sometimes in need of a reset or ways to emerge from repetitive themes in my writing. I’m not always sure of where to go with future efforts. Currently trying to organize existing memoirs to maybe get a handle on the next steps.
I think this is a great way to get your expertise at encouraging writing to the general public. Bravo!
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Thanks, Sharon. I know what you mean about gutter-balling to the same old theme. Sometimes it means the writer needs to hit the theme harder to crack the shell and extract the insight; sometimes it means the writer is bored telling the same story with different details and needs to switch to something completely different; and it could be something altogether different. Organizing is a productive way to get some distance on it.
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Video 3: Nice introduction. Informative. Granddaughter in California said after reading the book she’d always wondered about various family things, and she was so sorry I had such a lousy childhood but it’s what has made me into the strongest most wonderful woman that I am.
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Your granddaughter got that right, Sharon.
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RESPONSE TO VIDEO 2: LOVED this one – all your points seem so apropos to things I’ve felt when writing. One particularly: its MY STORY, the way I remember it all happening. Own it, and realize its my truth, how I felt, how I reacted, how I was hurt or whatever the feelings were, still are. Yes, helpful physically, mentally, emotionally.Thanks for this chapter. I loved it.
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Thanks, Sharon. Yes, sooner or later most memoir writers have to come to terms with how to write about other people. There are many factors to consider and you’ve named one of the critical ones. It’s your story from your perspective. I’m glad Video 2 resonated with you.
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